For most of my adult life, anxiety has left its mark on my entire existence. The constant pressure I put on myself to be living a life filled with purpose, become something “special” and hide who I was to better align with who I thought I needed to be left me completely disconnected from who I was at my core. It was exhausting constantly pretending to be someone I was not.
After what appeared to be multiple attempts from the universe to wake me up, I finally found myself in the midst of an identity crisis. I can recall exactly where I was when it occurred to me that I was way too young to be feeling so old and miserable. From that moment, I made a promise to myself that I would do everything I could to make that feeling change.
In an effort to try to get back into alignment and make life exciting again, I decided I would devote an entire year of my life into creating more opportunities to learn about who I was…. I got involved in new activities, met new people and dove head first into the world of “self help”.
While scrolling facebook one day ( deep down I always knew facebook was the answer to all my problems) I came across an article on astrology that took the study way beyond the horoscopes I had always read in magazines… it spoke of a birth chart or as they were calling it, a “soul map”, and that it could provide guidance on your life when you were feeling disconnected from yourself and who you came into this life to be.
What I metaphorically heard when I read that was, “life map”. The lazy person inside of was was over the moon thrilled (see what I did there) that there was potential that life really does come with an instruction manual. The next day, I was in the bookstore with a new book in hand… and haven’t stopped learning about it since.
What I thought would be an opportunity to learn more about myself surprisingly became a study of not only learning that, but appreciating all of the stars, or should I say planets, that had to align to make me exactly who I am today. My bubbly personality? It’s in there… All my insecurity and need for control? In there too! What about the fact that I can’t do work that doesn’t give me purpose? I kid you not… IN. THERE. TOO! I could keep going on, but I think you get the idea.
When we are young, it is so easy for us to be ourselves… to listen to our hearts and to know what feels right for us. As we get older, the influences around us change. We start to feel bad or guilty if there is something about us that others deem negative or if there are changes we want to make to our life that others don't agree on, we need to hide it and try to pretend like everything's okay.
I promise you the happiest you will ever be is when you decide that it’s okay to become who you are.
Astrology mapped out a path for me to live my best life and get out of my own way. It didn’t tell me exactly where I needed to go, it merely allowed me to learn more about myself and become aware of my potentials and use my energy in a more constructive way.
I love you enough to not let you be who other people think you should be, but for you to love exactly who you are and create a life that is a reflection of just that. Even if it takes some learning….And if you forget just who that is, or maybe you wish you were different, let me show you what the stars had in mind and why.